


coup d'état

by orphan_account



Series: hswc 2013 fills [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Chess, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-24
Updated: 2013-08-24
Packaged: 2017-12-24 13:07:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/940340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>dave and the mayor play chess</p><p>written for homestuck shipping world cup 2013, bonus round 5: board/tabletop games</p>
            </blockquote>





	coup d'état

**= > DAVE: Finish detailing ADVANCED WAR GAME rules to eager protégé.**

"And the point is to back the other player's king into a corner so hard his ass is permanently molded into a right angle. You gotta make sure he can't do shit without dying, including not doing shit at all. Got it?"

The mayor nods. Of course he has it. He's smart and a natural born leader, and you have full confidence that he can walk right into his first game of chess and soundly school you, despite the dozen or so games you have under your belt from back when you still had hope of beating anyone on this rock except Kanaya.

Why didn't you go to the mayor first? You'd probably lose again, but at least it'd be to a worthy opponent.

"Ok, white moves first," you say as you finish setting up the board, "so you can be white if you want." The mayor shakes his head and hops over the board to sit on the black side. What a gentleman. You are so lucky to have a friend like the mayor. "You can go first anyways," you say, because he deserves it.

He takes one of his pawns and moves it two squares forward like you taught him, because who wants to move only one square? Chumps is who. You follow suit. The game is ON.

The mayor seems to consider each of his moves carefully. He's a natural, you think. You've gotta put him up against Rose once he gets the hang of it. 

A few moves in and he's looking pretty excited. He bounces in his spot on the floor while you make your move, then when you're done he picks up his king - moving his king already, must be some kind of advanced strategy - and tosses it aside. Wait what.

"Uh," you say. The mayor moves his bishop to the place where the king once stood and looks up at you proudly. Aw. He's too cute to tell him he's wrong. But if you don't, he might go on to challenge other people (Rose) to chess and get humiliated when he takes out his own king. You can see her now: her condescending "you-can't-help-it-you-poor-thing" smile, followed by an invitation to chess lessons. You can't let that happen to a bro.

"Okay man," you start, "the point is to checkmate the other guy's king, not yours. How are you supposed to win a war after you killed your own king?"

He shakes his head.

"Right, you don't. I mean unless the queen starts running shit-"

He picks up the queen and drops her on the floor beside her late husband.

"...Okay." You shrug. "Who needs royalty, right?"

The mayor nods enthusiastically and places two of his pawns in the king and queen's spots, and it hits you. Shit, that's brilliant.

**= > DAVE: Toss your own corrupt monarchs aside and join his game of Viva la Chess Revolution.**


End file.
